The Dilemma of the Unhappy Adventurer

Dear reader,

I find myself in a peculiar personal situation which is so far out of my realm of experience that I'm using this channel to ask for advice as I feel there must be other people around in my position. I truly don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice anybody out there has to offer. Here's the problem.

I am a person of independent means, which means that I can do as I like with my time and this, until a year ago, suited me to perfection. I traveled, I indulged; indeed I did not shy away from any experience life had to offer and I wanted for nothing. Then, on a whim, I suddenly married twelve months ago and that’s when the trouble started.

At first I enjoyed being a husband, the simplicity of domestic bliss had briefly enslaved me but eventually, three months later, the novelty wore off and I found myself craving freedom. Once again I yearned to expect the unexpected, to embrace life’s pleasures unfettered and so, in keeping with my newly found zest, I began an affair with a woman. The excitement I felt every time I presented my wife and my mistress with yet another lie to account for my whereabouts is hard to put to words. To put it simply I felt alive and if it wasn’t for my falling in love, I would be feeling it still.

It's only recently that I've come to understand that love hurts. It's certainly turned my world upside down, I can tell you. I used to be so carefree, so beautifully callous in my romantic pursuits, which were numerous. Those were wonderful times, when visions of exhilarating adventures, piles of them, delightfully uncomplicated and brief, galloped through my head, just after lunch when I’d sit back nursing a cognac; for hours I was lost in reflection and the planning of my next affair. I had the best time of my life, I admit, when I was about to make a new conquest, all without feeling the least bit of guilt.

Alas, those days have now sadly come to an end. Since I fell in love I only mope and furrow my brow as I sit contemplating life without my angel because divorce, due to an iron-clad prenup is out of the question. Not only would my wife fleece me of every last cent but, to add insult to injury, she's concerned over my well-being. Of course, I take into account that the stupid woman is blissfully unaware about my situation but when she plies me with her never-ending inquiries as to why I seem so forlorn, I feel like putting my head in a bucket. I can't bear to look at her, and not just because she's frightfully ugly. It's all that and more. I am in a pretty pickle, I realize as I gaze at her long ovine face which her worried expression makes only longer and more ovine, and I wish I had not gotten that rotten drunk that night at the casino when I woke up in that cheap motel with her by my side waving the marriage certificate at me in that triumphant manner. We're married, darling! She bleated and she had my signature to prove it.

Well, what could I do? Tell her my heart wasn't in it? I should have but I didn't. I've been a gentleman all my life and it's been my undoing. As a result, my life today is full of regrets. Well, I try to make the best of the situation; as I juggle my two lives, heaping lies upon lies in both directions, I seem to be sinking deeper into deception and there’s no end to it.

So this is my story, dear reader, and I am hoping that you will be able to offer some insight into this peculiar situation and tell me what to do.

Yours truly
Unhappy Adventurer

What is satire?

Satire has been variously defined, throughout centuries, as 'a poem in which wickedness or folly is censured', 'the amendment of vices', 'reformation' or as 'a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own, which is the chief reason for that kind of reception it meets in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.' In other words - satire enables people to laugh at their fellow man's foolishness while blissfully unaware that they're being fools themselves.

Is satire art? 

The satirist is a kind of self-appointed guardian of standards, ideals and truth; of morals as well as aesthetic values. Satirists are people who take it upon themselves to correct, censure and ridicule the follies and vices of society and thus to bring contempt and derision upon aberrations from a desirable and civilized norm. Thus satire is a kind of protest, a sublimation and refinement of anger and indignation.

As Ian Jack once so adroitly put it: 'Satire is born of the instinct to protest; it is protest become art.'

 

What is the role of a satirist? 

 

In Essays in Satire (1928) Ronald Knox likened the satirist to a small boy who goes about with a water pistol charged with vitriol. He also suggests that the satirist is a kind of spiritual therapist whose function is to destroy the root causes of the major diseases of the spirit, like hypocrisy, pride and greed.

 

Satire during the last century 

During the 20th century satire was rare. Two of the main reasons for this lack are that the 20th century was a period of much instability and violent change, and the humour industry grew to such an extent that the satirist could hardly make himself felt except in the caricature and the cartoon. Sustained verbal satire of merit was very unusual, and verse satire almost nonexistent.

21st century satire 

Cabbage, Strudel and Trams 

An almost biographical and definitely riotous tale of adolescence begun behind the Iron Curtain, continued in a West German refugee camp and coming to a glorious end in the land Down Under.

Cabbage, Strudel & Trams tells the story of a young girl's turbulent journey from childhood to adulthood, of adolescence begun behind the Iron Curtain, continued in a West German refugee camp and coming to a glorious end in the land Down Under. Narrated by Franta, an imaginary friend inhabiting the inner world of our young heroine Vendula, this satirical coming-of-age tale depicts the trials and tribulations of an ordinary Czech family living in a small mining town in communist Czechoslovakia in the early 1980s, their escape to West Germany and their resettlement in Australia.

The story begins when the combined household of Zhvuk & Dribbler is thrown into chaos by the untimely defection of Uncle Stan to West Germany. With nothing but their damaged political profile to lose, the family decides to eventually follow in Uncle Stan's footsteps but not before puberty, free enterprise, unrequited love and things that only happen to other people shred our young heroine's heart. With charm, poise and a little grace, Franta navigates Vendula through the pitfalls of her teenage years, guiding her to discover her own identity. As shenanigans gather momentum, Franta's humorous insights into Vendula's loopy family: the assertive mother, the henpecked father, the enterprising granddad, the blissful grandma, the dissenting uncle and his circle of "freedom fighting" friends build a picture of the life of ordinary folk surviving the oppressive communist regime.

Well, even straw will eventually break the camel's back. Following a trip to the almighty Soviet "Onion" where rows of empty shop windows reveal the future all too clearly, the family escapes to West Germany. Unexpectedly, the refugee camp, a colourless shapeless blur on the edge of a dark, dark forest where only goblins live, is a "happy" kind of place in which tobacco chewing, nose picking, throat clearing, the occasional riot, and plentiful and uninhibited sexual exploits are the order of the day. Of course, life is not all beer and crackers for our heroes; having carved out some sort of an existence in the camp, new challenges arise when the family arrives in Australia.

 Cabbage, Strudel and Trams (Part I: Czechoslovakia)

Cabbage, Strudel and Trams (Part II: West Germany)

Cabbage, Strudel and Trams (Part III: Australia)

Why You Should Read To Your Child

The Benefits of Reading to Your Child

Reading to and with your child is one of the most important and enjoyable experiences you can share with your child to promote learning and instill the love of learning in your child. There are simple steps you can take to ensure your child is getting the most out of reading.

What is reading? 

Reading is the recognition and interpretation of the meanings of a printed word or symbol and of groups of words or symbols. Reading is about making meanings from print, recognizing groups of printed words and images in the book and then interpreting their meanings. Reading to your child involves you speaking the written word, your child hearing the sounds you make and then interpreting them. This involves your child in a process of constructing meaning from printed words or symbols.

How language develops between three and six years of age

Between the ages of three and six years, pronunciation improves markedly. Word coinage forms expand. Metaphors appear based on concrete, sensory comparisons. Sentences reflect an appreciation of adult grammatical categories. Grammatical skills expand and develop, and grammatical structures are added. Conversational strategies appear that help sustain interaction, such as taking turns. At school entry, children usually possess a vocabulary of about 10 000 words. Meanings are grasped on the basis of how words are used. There is also the beginning of an appreciation of multiple meaning attached to words. This leads to an expanded understanding of metaphors and humor.

From six to ten years of age there is a mastering of pronunciations signaling subtle differences in meaning. A few complex grammatical structures such as the passive voice continue to be refined. Advanced conversational strategies appear like shades of meaning. There is an expansion of the understanding of illocutionary intent, and an improvement in referential communication. Metalinguistic awareness develops rapidly and is enhanced by and contributes to mastery of literacy.

Terms explained:

illocutionary intent - what the speaker intends to say, regardless of whether what he or she actually says is consistent with the intention

referential communication - the ability to produce clear verbal messages and to recognize when the meaning of others' messages is unclear

metalinguistic awareness - the ability to think about language as a system

Why is reading to children important?

As a teaching technique, reading to or with children is used to help them construct meanings about the world around them. Reading for enjoyment - reading books and stories is one of the most common ways in which you read to or with your child to facilitate learning at any age. Babies and toddlers will enjoy the experience, too.

The story method of reading is really a form of word and picture play and is an immediately pleasurable activity to engage your child in and to share a meaningful exchange of ideas.

 

How do you read to your  child?

The following tips will help you facilitate a high quality reading experience with your child:

The books you read to or with your child should:

• match your child's interest - short adventures with lots of images are particularly well suited to the young child as they often feature characters and storylines young children relate to
• not frighten your child
• feature familiar situations to help young children interpret the world around them
• explore feelings children can understand
• have pictures and appropriate language to match your child's age.

 

 

How to help your child develop a love of books and reading?

Knowing how to read to, or with, your child is a vital skill so that learning can actually take place.

Before you share a story with your child, make sure that:

• your child is sitting or lying comfortably - children concentrate best when they're comfortable and settled
• you read to your child in a clear voice and in ways that enable them to readily see any pictures related to the words being read
• you show enthusiasm for reading and enjoyment in the story to immerse your child in the experience.

 

Motivate your children to learn 

The years from five to eight are significant in the development of the motivation to learn. Emerging cognitive abilities help young children to evaluate whether they are successful or unsuccessful in school. Children become very aware of their progress and their ability to control success. This can be very confusing. When a five to six year old child has his or her picture praised, others will copy it in the hope and expectation of receiving equal praise. They are very puzzled and hurt when copying is not valued as highly as originality and the praise wanes with the level of mass production.

One of the significant cognitive achievements in the over-five age group is the acquisition of the ability to think about and solve problems in their heads. As this mental ability (known as metacognition) grows, children develop their own systems for organizing and remembering things. Once they master metacognition, they plan strategies for games, understand jokes and riddles, and address how others might think and feel. The opportunity to engage in hands-on materials helps them to have concrete reference points in their encounter with new information. When children can write, they should be encouraged to record findings to supplement concrete materials.

Do you want to have a clever child? Teach your baby to solve problems.

Babies and problem-solving

Problem-solving is the foundation of a young child's learning. As soon as young children begin to ask 'Why?' and 'How?' they show an interest in learning through problem-solving. But problem-solving strategies can be taught to children long before they start speaking. Very young babies can be encouraged to develop problem solving thinking, and here's how to do it.

How problem-solving can help stimulate intelligence

Healthy babies will be puzzled by many things in the world about them. The problems babies will be trying to solve for themselves are going to be simple puzzles about how the world works and how to make their body works in the world. By about 4 months of age, babies reach a stage in their cognitive development where they can intentionally begin to make things happen. For example, they will use their hands to hit a mobile or cry for their mother. Once babies reach this stage of cognitive development, you can present your baby with simple puzzles they can solve. For example, moving a mobile that a baby can reach to a slightly different location so that baby has to work out again how to use their hands to reach it. Or, you can offer your baby a new toy so that your baby has to work out what to do with it and how to work it. Babies concentration span is very short and their frustration and distress can build up quickly so do not be too ambitious when trying to stimulate your baby to try new things. You need to choose puzzles that are within the baby's grasp and do not cause distress or frustration. Learning to enjoy problem-solving at this age relies on having problems that are fun and of interest to the baby.

Children's confidence in problem-solving begins to be shaped in infancy. When boys are distressed parents will often direct them into doing activities while distressed baby girls will get cuddles and soothing talk to settle them down. This provides boys with strong messages that they are doers and solvers of problems and girls that they should be passive rather than active.

What you need to do to help your baby develop their problem-solving strategies early 

You need to match the use of problem-solving to enhance children's learning with their developmental abilities. The older the children the more they are likely to have sustained, focused attention on the problems they encounter. You also need to match the types of problems you want to encourage your children to solve with your children's developmental interests.

Very young children respond to simple narrative structure, colorful visual appeal and storylines that are suited to their limited understanding of the world around them. Let’s Read A Story will help your children understand simple concepts from everyday life while engaging them in a question & answer responses and acting out simple instructions.

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